AK Rants logo
AK Rants

My August Sweater Collection


What's an August sweater, you ask?

An August sweater is what you are forced to wear these days if you are fool enough to
  1. Dress for the weather

  2. AND
  3. Go to a movie, eat in a restaurant or ride a bus in August

... Oh, and

  1. Aren't carrying the requisite extra fifty pounds.

Why do I (and half the women I've asked) constantly have to freeze in public places all summer? It could be that the air conditioning is set to maintain temperatures that would suit the average killer whale - which, not coincidentally, brings to mind the body type that prevails amongst the people who always answer this observation with the tired "I'd rather be a little cool than too hot."

A "little cool," eh?

Well, if missing every other forkful at dinner due to constant, violent shivering counts as a "little cool," allrightythen...

Which brings me to my August sweater collection. I still wear short sleeves in the car, on the street, even at work but when it's really hot, I carry a sweater so I can stand the morning bus ride and sit through the movie. I've learned to ignore the double-takes of the Orcas. Free yourself, Willy.

  Music off